cheeyokelo

been home for the past 5 weeks...recuperating from a knee surgery which was quite an experience cause it was my 1st...from the time that i checked in till after i grogyly woke up to checking out of the hospital...hmm...it was pretty scary cause of stories and experiences that was told to me... shudder...some good and some not worth mentioning... i must admit that my doctor and his team really made me felt comfortable and secure cause 5 mins before they wheeled me in---i had to use the loo...my head was a little heavy due to the tablets i took earlier and an attendant had to hold and lead me...let's not go into too much details... undergoing physio for my knee and let me tell you that i no longer dislike auditors...no.1 on my hate officially goes to physiotherapists...heartless,emotionless and slavemaster...no regards for pain...these are the people who founded the phrase...no pain,no gain... many thanks to those who came to visit...you know who you are...brought my spirits up y...

me

timing is everything... it's not like we are always unlucky...it's more likely that we have bad timing...and even if it's a surefire thing...timing either makes or breaks it... the best part of it is that not all of us have good timing and even if we do...there are always days whereby we are off... the suck part of it is that when we are off...the consequences are really bad... and i believe that everyone of us has experiences that we would like to forget... i have got no solution just questions...how do we prevent bad timing?is it an acquired gift...our genes or an ability that we can do without? do we do it purposely or it's really just a test from God? so...how's your timing lately?

have you ever felt so low that the lowest thing that you can think of can't be lower than you? have you ever felt so bad that the worst thing that has happened to you seem like child's play? have you ever felt so useless that whatever you do just seem like a waste of time? have you ever felt so insignificant that even if you're gone, no one will notice? have you ever felt so much depression that you can't depress anymore? have you ever felt so angry with yourself that you can't believe how stupid you actually are? have you ever felt so much emptiness that even a black hole is like nothing in comparision? have you ever felt so dumb that even Harry and Lloyd looks smarter than you? lastly... have you ever ever ever felt so pissed with yourself that 2 bottles of valium ought to do the trick? WELCOME TO MY LIFE

total volume of music files on my computer.. 1 GIG...(more or less) the last cd that i bought.. RNBHIPHOP...ss2 pasar malam song playing right now.. californian dreams...mamas and the papas five songs i listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me.. HOOBASTANK: the reason EVANESENCE: immortal EVANESENCE: bring me back to life HIKARU UTADA: first love BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: secret garden five person to whom i am passing the baton.. weng kit (ffk king) jessica jes min su cheryl lim (cause i know that they'll be reading this)

sigh...am having a mental block for the past week...and nothing seems important anymore...and i mean nothing...don't feel like talking to friends and am gong thru the motions in my life with no real zest... it's like 3:50 pm and i've just finished a bottle of shiraz... think i have lost my focus somewhere... well the most interesting thing that happened to me was last weekend i joined a salsa class(a new one) last saturday...it was cool though my instructor's name is sam aka salsa sam...funny right... well anyway i came home after class and tried to teach my family how to salsa la...and it was disasterous...i mean instead of seriously learning they were laughing more...hmmm maybe i am not cut out to be a teacher... back to my block...feeling nothingness at the moment...just don't know how to describe the feeling...LOST? maybe... been reading other blogs and it made me feel that what have i been doing in my life so far...i mean...THEY are having the time of their liv...

sometimes i feel that ignorance is a blessing in disguise...cause the more that we know,the more responsibility we got to bear...and more often then not the responsibility that we bear will always take it's toll and then we'll be to jaded or exhausted to continue... some of us are often spread too thin when we can really excel if only we concentrate on ONE task and move on from there... so next question is when do we start to ignore others...or rather when do i start to ignore others...well to me ignoring is a selfish thing but then again it's not always about others...being human gives me the right to be selfish...right? problem is that i can't...i've tried to...but can't...and that has sometimes gotten me unhappy...when i do something for someone i really wanna do it the best that i can and well i've learned that sometimes your best isn't good enough for the other person...so how do you stop?when do you stop?CAN you stop? which is better...to not help ...

well it's been some time since i last blogged...and the usual busy busy busy just sounds like a lame excuse...cause i too believe that if you want something done it'll BE DONE... so here's a summary of what's happened in the last few weeks... my mum's back from australia after being away for 2 months...yay...don't need to do my laundry and eat out anymore...hehehe.... learned that looks can be deceiving as my car broke down again and this time i found out that the fancy workshop that i engaged didn't do a fancy repair...which costs me another grand...sigh...on a brighter note is that i also found a mechanic who's dependable and reasonable...and guarantees his work... i regretted not being able to spend time with some one close back from overseas... my church camp ended last sunday and i wasn't there...sigh...well you can't be everywhere everytime...and it seems that this is the camp which the speaker spoke and EVERYONE listened...f@#$ing incredib...

i think most of soccer fans would have watched the match between AC Milan and Liverpool either live or not...and if not would have heard about the result from the radio or other forms of media...like it or not...LIVERPOOL ARE THE CHAMPIONS...and i can say that i was there with them...i watched them from start till the penalty shootout...and i must say that at half-time i wanted to turn it off and go to bed...but as you all know...YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE... i couldn't bear to watch the penalty shoot-out cause i think that we aren't the best penalty takers in the game...sigh...so i waited after ten mins before i switch the channels...hahaha... well CIS eat your heart out... the manner that they pulled themselves together after the break was amazing...i mean would you believe that from 3 goals down and against 1 of the best teams in the world...what's the word to describe that kind of feeling...so when you're down and out...and things are really not looking too great.......

she's the bride...ain't she a beauty...i used to call her by name but now must call her ah soe...not that she's old but because she's heng tai's wife...hence the ranking... 

wedding on the 14th of may...this is the heng tais...saw that or not ...all looking so cute and adorable...actually got butterflies in our stomach cause we didn't know what the gurls wanted us to perform b4 letting the bride come out of the room...terrible isn't it?...anyway...nothing happened cause he...my friend eric...got it easy...no need to sing or act out funny actions...just plan old ang pow...

i have a friend who's getting married this weekend...and thinking about the times we had together when we were younger...growing up in the same church and all just got me feeling mushy la... growing in a church and watching others grow is a joy cause...really...you get to see the transformation and though it does make you feel old at times...it also make you happy to see that God has blessed them and has kept them by His side and still is blessing and keeping them near to Him... mind you the woman that he's marrying is 1 of the most soft spoken,kind hearted and compassionate ladies that i know and i thank God that He has blessed them with 1 another...and though it is a big step...marrying...i can honestly say that God will continue to bless and watch over them... it has been a joy to know this brother of mine...though we had our differences(don't everybody)...we also had good times while lunching and skipping work to catch a movie...honestly how many would do that...mind ...

i came across this tagline and i was thinking...how many times have we used or others used the phrase "you're only young once" or "i'm always young at heart"... do we sometimes use the line as an excuse to be immature in our actions or words...well i for 1 can say that i have done it...using the line as an excuse to act out of my age...they say that as we aged we sin less cause as we grow older we choose sinning more carefully... how true is that...when i was in my teens...i could get away with trouble cause i was still young...but now every single thing that we do will always be under the microscope even if it's something good... people might question your motives or methods... so do we stop or continue without a care cause you know...you can never please everybody...some jealous cause you're cuter...some cause you're smarter and some just plain don't like your pretty face...sigh...sometimes i just feel like giving them a piece of my mind an...

big game tonight between liverpool and arsenal...both teams fighting for champions league football next season...though liverpool's chances are very very slim...but we can always give it a go... anyone who thinks that we've thrown the towel got another thing coming...YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE... to all the HARDCORE REDS...(and i don't mean in the porno sense) LIVERPOOL ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you do when someone slides into the parking spot that you've been waiting patiently for about 10 mins...and after confronting them you just have to let them have it cause out of sympathy...the driver's limped in a leg and his whole family including old people with him...and it's just you alone...some of you may think that...SO WHAT! it's my spot...well...i do to but i guess at the given time i felt that i had to give in... it's mother's day and i'm here blogging not spending time with my mum...well she's not around and she's probably enjoying herself in australia...going to call her later though...at the very least...i feel alone la...don't know why...could it be that i DO miss mum?sigh...i don't know la...maybe it's cause the household chores are not done and my laundry is in a mess...and also having a sister who is busier than auditors don't help...honestly i don't know what's keeping her busy... apart from that...th...

had chic wings at this place called wong ah wah...and it was an experience worth mentioning...i was thinking of a venue to go since it was a holiday the next day and i thought of taking my girlfriend out to a place outside of our regular makan spot...so there i was calling up friends to ask for good eating spots and directions to go too...after much contemplation i decided to check this place up... well the service was prompt...the ordering la...and my chic wings came earlier than my drinks... how about that...normally the drinks comes 1st...but anyway...we ordered wings and fried see-ham and veg...the truth is that the wings were so so but the see-ham...wah lau...great man...and also my friend suggested that the big prawn(1 prawn only cost rm24) dish is good and also the ginger fish... so i skipped the prawn cause i no lover and went for the fish...err...errmmm...it was too gingerly for my taste...well there were other orders but we couldn't eat anymore...so maybe this coming wes...

well...ummm...how to start...hmmm...ok...this should do it... fine... was playing futsal in church just now...last night and got into an argument that almost got out of hand...which got me thinking...when do we as christians draw the line...when do we defend ourselves...do we wait for backup or do we bore them to death with bible readings or do we simply just grit our teeth and take it...or...just give it back as good as you got it... i am very passionate about the game and i would say that i always give my all whenever i play and i was told by a friend during supper that...that puts pressure on my team-mates...sigh probably true...but aren't you supposedly to give your best...well the story is that i was arrogant and insensitive to the other team players and that riled up one of the players...who challenged me la... the funny thing is...the boy pushes me twice in the chest...i mean come on la...it's not like i've got breasts or anything...and started using foul language an...

well...another 4 hours to go b4 i hafta leave for copa iba...unearthly time right...well it seems that we need to be there by 7:30 am hence the time to be in church so we can leave in a bus by 6:15... well after 2 months of training this is it...yup the time has finally come to stand up and be counted.. while i'm writing this...the whole family is watching braveheart...how poetic... well i need to go and get some rest...will update on the copa iba later...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

have you ever waited 30 mins for a plate of chicken rice and mind you the stall selling it isn't big... well...i did and it really pissed me off...cause 1stly...i gave up my table for a family...i was sitting alone la...and i ORDERED 1st!!!sigh...could it be that a single order is less lucrative...i mean if the food is good then imagine the free publicity you will get...and that would be good for business... i had to asked him whether my order was coming cause then i can go and eat somewhere else and never to return to this dreaded place...and he said yes...cause his face told me that I came 1st...so hurriedly my plate of chicken rice came and let me tell you that i think he took the chicken out a tad too early cause i can see that it wasn't fully cooked...sigh...eat only la...what can do...hungry la! well...so much for my lunch-capade... i guess that we DO wait for"somethings" in life if we thought that it was good...but why wait...isn't the only thing that guara...

here i am...the time is 3am plus...and i am wondering about this saturday...THE COPA IBA... the place is RRI sungai buloh(aroung there la)...there are 3 soccer teams this year...btw last year we lost all our games...the highlight being that we lost 1 nil to the group champs which forced them out...really you should have seen the happiness on the players' faces...it was really funny...but this year's gameplan is to win at least 1 game...that WAS the plan but i felt that we can set the bar higher..by winning ALL OUR GAMES... i was reading a blog of 1 of the players...and i agree with him that the juniors have improved tremendously...but i'm trying to keep their head on the ground cause if they're satisfied now...then there would not be anymore progress later...so still have to be strict...but they are fast learners... thinking of copa iba brings back memories of when i used to play...mind you it was the 1st copa iba and it was really funny when they imposed certain rules....

yeah!!!...surprisingly...it was a great weekend...managed to have a good practice since the match is this saturday...and also the spurs game against liverpool was very good...4 goals were scored and all were great goals... the team trained well...had a game between the seniors and the juniors...the result was 3 nil to the juniors...watched the vin diesel movie and it was watchable la... my friend with the serious problem has managed to solve it(with God's intervention)and i'm very happy that i went to church to worship la...hadn't done that for weeks... got out a lot of negative stuffs from my system...and also managed 8 hours of sleep on sunday night...

well...i'm really a bit off after watching a soccer match...which for neutrals would say was a pretty good game...except if you're supporting the two teams...sigh...4 goals were scored and they were all pretty good ones...like i said the result could have gone either way...too bad la...for my team... wanted to go out for a drink...but after reaching home i just didn't feel like it...i felt more comfy with my dog and we were watching the game together gether...was also doing my laundry at the same time...washing machine la...and it's been raining unpredictably that i decided to hang the clothes to dry in the middle of the night...the main reason is cause my mum not around...speaking of her...my aunt just got back from australia and she told us that my mum(God bless her soul) misses us but she misses my dog even more...sigh(gonna kick her later...the dog la) imagine that... my aunt asked me if i cried silently since mum not around...sigh...what kind of question is that......

the past week has been hectic for me... 1stly...my boss went for a holiday...leaving me with a lot more work...some of you who know me might think i don't even work...well i do!!! 2ndly...the soccer tournament is like in a week's time...and the boys have a lot more to improve... not that they haven't but there's always room for improvement right?and sunday's practice wasn't great but the juniors held the seniors to a nil nil draw...1 of the juniors said that the result meant that they won...hehehe... 3rdly...i've this friend who's close to me and she's at a crossroad which i can't really help and i feel useless cause there's nothing i can do and it's killing me...and it's not even her fault... 4thly...my favourite soccer team went thru to the semis...hurrah...i don't think anybody gave them a chance but they are in the semis...say what you want...loser!!!! 5thly...when i was at work just now my lorry brokedown and i was held up at...

mahjong...a brilliant game invented...and i think it was a chinese cause i see that a lot of chinese enjoy the game...old or young,male or female also not a problem...used to be 4 to start now...2 also can...but i would say that the best the three 'ka' mahjong...and you can go on and on and on... the rules...well i think besides the few known rules...the rest are defined by the place or family... it's quite interesting and also very addictive...and the best part of it all is that money is very inportant besides the tiles and dice...and that also has different levels...like how much is a point worth...the cheapest that i know is 5cents...the most that i've seen played is rm1...not a lot to some but that's just 1 point...the minimum to game is 5 points and it could be doubled or tripled or more... then there's the time factor...you can play for hours and not eat or drink...maybe the occasional getting to get rid of the 'suay' or toilet break...i played wit...

sigh...that's what you will hear when you're out with old friends and even new ones...out DRINKING!that's exactly what i did...up AND half...hehehe trying to remember events after that has proved that memory loss do happens and if you ever wanna get out of sticky situations just say that you were drunk and can't remember a single thing...trust me it works...but you can only use it once a year...so use it wisely... that was on friday...i've checked with some of the guys and it seems that beside talking too loud and making a nuisance out of myself...i was pretty steady...so i'll probably go again this friday... anyone interested?

that's me la

i'm waiting for time to pass cause i'll be sending my mum to the airport later...yup...the day has finally come...my mum is running away from home and her responsibility to enjoy herslelf and also to take care of my aunt's baby for 3 months...how uncool is that...i mean what about my laundry and my meals...i also need someone to do them you know...my usually ironed clothes will now not be there...sigh welcome to my life... well i don't wanna sound sissy or anything but i think i miss my mum already...and i think that in a contradicting way i am glad to see her go cause she's never been out...on the other i'm gonna miss her nagging and though it's very unbearable ...i kinda grew on it...sigh better not let my mum read this cause then the 'char siew' quote will become useless...WHAT?!you don't know...parents sometimes say giving birth to a piece of 'char siew' is better than you... thinking about this makes me really sad cause i didn't ...

yup...i've got me a bracelet...a simple stainless steel with my name on it...mind you it's not a sissy thing but more of friends affirming their friendship...ok ok ok... probably you would say that it's a teenager thingy but HELLO...who gives a s*%$ what you think... well...sorry for being rude...it's just(sniff sniff)i can't stand people labeling me just cause i'm wearing a bracelet and starts calling me gay...ok maybe i do have certain tendencies but i'm not gay... the thing that sets us apart from others is that certain individuals come together cause they enjoy each other's company and thru out the years have this bond and trust that binds this particular group and let me tell you that it's not being exclusive or anything but just common interest and opinions(we do have very differing ideas at times)...we do have other groups of friends that we hold dear to our heart but the thing that binds us differs...some we party...some we go dance class...s...

ever felt that the pain so unbearable that you just wanns smash yourself against something and get it all over with...well that's exactly how i feel now...in fact the pain in my head has become so intense that i'm considering a jab for it... as i grit thru the PAIN...i'm thinking ...what is the cause of it...is it just because i got caught in the rain and didn't dry my head properly or...is it my body telling me that it's time for a body service...ie...medical check-up...thai massage...booster jab...i don't really know...i'm a butcher...not a doctor... well so much for the physical side of it...what about emotional pain...does it hurt as bad or it's worst...well...i figured that it's worst cause we're hurting inside where we can't take anything for it except maybe sleeping pills or drugs that will calm you down...anyway that's only temporal...what about a long term cure...and will it really cure what's hurting you inside...hmmm...stil...

my mind is full of things today...1stly cause it's my mum's birthday...and also the fact that she's leaving for australia for 3 months is another thing...yesterday's soccer practice was not what it could be...a good practice...sigh...couple that with tiredness from driving to and fro for 5-6 hours... and news that 1 of my closest friend is getting stressed out...my my god-sis contracted denggi... sigh...sigh...and triple sigh...i guess i am not alone when i say that our minds are ALWAYS filled with a lot of things...and we act or react to them...at times we are nice and polite...at times the total opposite...so who's to blame when we're such a pain...i'm sure everyone wants to be happy and stress-less everytime but how do you control your emotions and your behaviour... well...join the club...i have no answer...and sure people will quote you verses that will and should help you...but then again we ALL have head knowledge...we KNOW what to do...but can't h...

question...when is enough...enough?! hmmm....i think that it's true for most of us...it could be anything...like at work helping colleagues out when it's not your problem...how far do you go? when do you stop? to what extend do you assist? at home...household chores...when will you stop doing it...especially when your siblings don't seem to care whether the garbage has been thrown out or the soiled dishes that needs to be washed...i think you get the picture... sometimes being nice is too nice if you get what i mean...i'm not trying to create a hate thing here but i feel that as asians sometimes we are too nice not knowing when to say no...especially if you're a christian la...i'm not generalizing here but hei...i too want to be pampered and love and be treated like an heir of a multi billionaire...so please tell me...when is enough...enough...

getting married,being married and staying married would bring you happiness...hmmm...well i don't know...there will be times when you can't stand your spouse and you just realized that you were stone drunk when you agreed to marry him/her...not necessary with alcohol... my question is...what gives!!!i get pissed when at weddings,especially when you're the usherer ...some people will come and ask the eternal question... WHEN'S YOUR TURN? what la...come in and enjoy the ceremony and stop asking questions like that when you know that the answer would be the 'hehehe soon la soon' or 'nobody yet...how to marry' or 'after you la'...superficial isn't it... sigh...could it be cause asians have this cultural thing that must marry by 30(for men) and 26(for ladies)...isn't that corny... well guys...good news...i've got friends who think like i do and it's cool... I AM NOT ALONE ...I FEEL YOU...I FEEL YOU... for those who are married or going...

who in the right frame of mind would speed all the way from RAWANG just to play 10 mins worth of futsal... sigh...that would be me lar... and mind you... i always tell my boys to warm up for 30 mins and here i am breaking everything that could end my sports playing days due to a ravaged body due to countless of insane tackles due to the inability to match my skills...sigh... ok ok that's what happens to you when you are going to be 31 and everyone starts calling you uncle...